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Why Is Going the Distance Rated R? (And 24 Other Urgent Questions)
On-again, off-again sweethearts, Justin Long and Drew Barrymore, co-star in this weekend?s new romantic comedy, Going the Distance. This surprisingly raunchy film deserves its R rating, but is it actually funny? Should we waste 109 of our 4,320 Labor Day weekend minutes watching Going the Distance? As a service, we answer every question that you could possibly have about Going the Distance. Q: Is Going the Distance the long-awaited biography of the 1990s alternative rock band Cake? A: No. It?s a movie about a long-distance relationship between Erin (Drew Barrymore) and Garrett (Justin Long).

Your Expanding Lexicon: Meet This Week?s Additions to the Vernacular
For your edification, a look back at the phrases, nouns, and neologisms that have, for better or for worse, shaped the week?s national discourse.

Does Robert Rodriguez?s Machete Have a Hidden Agenda?
Robert Rodriguez?s new film, Machete, knife-fights its way into theaters this weekend, leaving behind a gratuitous trail of carnage and scantily clad ladies. The Mexploitation masterpiece promises to sate fans? rabid enthusiasm for the fake trailer first seen in Grindhouse and answer such burning questions as where to hide a cell phone on a naked woman, how to mount a Gatling gun on a motorcycle, and who?d win in a knife fight: Danny Trejo or Steven Seagal. Yet despite Machete?s unabashed absurdity, the story kind of makes you think Rodriguez might be inciting a lowrider revolución. The film portrays a network of day laborers?led by a gorgeous taco-truck revolutionary named Shé?that stand ready at a moment?s notice to pick up their gardening sheers (and AK-47s) to revolt against the persecution of nativist politicos and gabacho vigilantes. The political iconography is so overt that amid all the explosions, blood, and lethal cutlery, you can?t help but wonder if Machete might have an agenda. Intrigued by this line of thought, we called Michelle Rodriguez, who plays Shé, to see if the country-club set should keep a closer eye on their groundskeepers.

On the Occasion of Hillary Clinton?s 2012-Campaign Kick-Off, We Remember the Greatest Hillary Ad of All Time
Despite the lack of willingness from the candidate herself, Hillary Clinton?s 2012 presidential campaign is off to an auspicious start! Above is the nascent movement?s first television ad, which aired Wednesday in New Orleans. We know what you are thinking: This campaign needs a slogan, and not just a catchy clause, but something I can trust, something like a mix of complete and incomplete sentences. Well! You, unlike Hillary Clinton?s 2008 campaign, are in luck: ?Hillary 2012: Hillary Clinton for President. Start now. Where there?s a Hill there?s a way? appears to be the official tagline. The commercial is the brainchild of one William DeJean, a Chicago dentist who fears for America?s future. ?I?m a dentist and I don?t think this country is headed in the right direction,? Dr. DeJean, D.D.S. told CNN yesterday. (This ad, he?s implying, is the right direction.) In addition to New Orleans, the spot? which somehow cost $5,000 to create?will run in ?Washington, New York, and Los Angeles, and possible [sic] Houston,? according to DeJean. The greatest Hillary Clinton presidential ad of all time, however, did not air on television?except, perhaps, on a news segment discussing the ironic roots of its Internet infamy?and we cannot imagine costs of production exceeding $500, let alone $5,000. Do you know the video of which we speak?

Another Oil Platform Explosion in the Gulf
? Another oil platform exploded in the Gulf off the coast of Louisiana yesterday. Thankfully, there was no oil leak and no one was killed. [AP] ? Miami International Airport was evacuated this morning after officials spotted a suspicious package in a checked bag. [Huff Post] ? The government?s Cash for Clunkers plan boosted sales for the two months it was in place and ultimately failed to bring new buyers into the market. [NPR] ? 54,000 jobs were lost in America in August and the unemployment rate rose from 9.5 percent to 9.6 percent. [New York Times] ? The eye of Hurricane Earl passed around 90 miles off the coast of the Outer Banks last night. [Washington Post]

Meet Two New Inflatable Additions to the Macy?s Thanksgiving Day Parade
Macy?s, proprietor of New York?s grandest Thanksgiving Day parade, has announced the addition of two new floats to the 2010 procession. Meet Kaikai and Kiki (see above), animated friends created by the Japanese pop artist Takashi Murakami. (Kaikai and Kiki are not to be confused with Kaikai Kiki, the name of Murakami?s artist collective, studio, and art production company.) ?Fangs are very hot right now, if you?ve missed this trend,? the parade?s executive producer told the New York Times. ?This is an excellent year for Murakami. And these balloons are adorable. They have a charm to them.? The Times reports that Murakami is not the first artist to see his work join the promenade: recall that Jeff Koons?s balloon bunny is a perennial parade favorite. In any event, the inclusion of Murakami?s figures suggests that it?s a high time we begin thinking seriously about our 2010 fantasy float draft. We present our list of pop culture figures whom we?d like to see enlarged, inflated, and marched through Midtown Manhattan.

Jason Sudeikis on Nudity, Drinking with the Cast of Mad Men, and Breaking Jennifer Aniston?s Heart
Photograph by Jessica Miglio. Jason Sudeikis has had a busy year. It began with a steamy affair with Jennifer Aniston, his co-star in The Bounty Hunter and the upcoming Horrible Bosses, which both of them denied but the tabloids exposed by publishing stories with crafty rhetorical titles like ?Is Jennifer Aniston Dating Jason Sudeikis?? (Busted!) More recently, he?s been canoodling with Mad Men?s Betty Draper (nee January Jones), a woman who explained the intricacies of sexual politics to her daughter with ?You don?t kiss boys. Boys kiss you.? When she?s not on TV, she?s an actress who met Sudeikis at Saturday Night Live, when she was a (widely-maligned) host and he was (and still is) a regular cast member. One of their more memorable scenes together featured Sudeikis as Jimmy Stewart and Jones as a flatulent Grace Kelly on the set of Rear Window. It would be highly speculative and probably factually inaccurate to suggest that Sudeikis first became attracted to her during that particular scene, but let?s go ahead and suggest it anyway. Watch their S.N.L. duet again and tell me you don?t see Sudeikis falling a little deeper in love every time she rattles the furniture with an air biscuit. If you?re a reasonably intelligent person, you?re likely wondering why it matters at all who Jason Sudeikis is dating. The short answer is, it doesn?t. But that hasn?t stopped his sex life from becoming tabloid fodder for most of the summer. Which is rare terrain for a comedian. There are certainly exceptions, but for the most part we aren?t interested in speculating about whom our comics are diddling. You could read every gossip site on the Internet and you?ll never find a story that asks, ?Which hottie from Grey?s Anatomy is Louis C.K. sleeping with this week?? What makes Jason Sudeikis different? Is he really that handsome and charming and effortlessly debonair? Or are we, as a nation, more aroused by guys with mustaches than we?re willing to admit?

Rupert Murdoch's News of the World Hacks Continue to Harass the Windsors
This week's New York Times Magazine features a lengthy piece on the frantic, morally dubious newsroom over at Rupert Murdoch's U.K. gossip rag News of the World, which is currently embroiled in a phone-hacking scandal. In April 2006, News of the World ran a story revealing how Prince Harry received a joke phone message from his brother, Prince William, who berated him for his antics at a lap-dancing club while imitating Harry's then-and-again girlfriend, Chelsy Davy. In 2009, that very story became the basis of an investigation into the paper's alleged phone-hacking practices, which we reported at the time. According to the Times Magazine article, phone hacking may have been a standard and encouraged practice at the News of the World. Historically the tabloid has tended to aggressively go after the British royal family. Earlier this year, one of the tabloid's reporters posed as a wealthy businessman and secretly taped Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, charging tens of thousands of dollars for access to her former husband, Prince Andrew, who is the U.K.'s special representative for International Trade and Investment. Last year, the paper caught Kate Middleton's uncle on camera providing an undercover reporter with drugs. In 2005, a News of the World reporter posed as a sheikh, tricking Princess Michael of Kent into making some less-than-flattering remarks about her family. Meanwhile, the British tabloid Daily Express finally turned its attention toward Sweden and discovered that, yes, Sweden has racy royals. (We've been exclaiming over the Swedes all summer!)

Quiz: Can You Name the Incident That Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Called ?The Longest 16 Seconds of [Her] Life??
Today, Arizona governor Jan Brewer took to a Phoenix radio station to discuss a certain uncomfortable situation. The incident occurred during “the longest 16 seconds of my life.” Since Brewer first stormed onto the national political scene with the passing of Arizona’s controversial new immigration policy, she’s proven herself to be a polarizing politician. By our reckoning, Brewer has likely had many, many extremely unpleasant experiences in the past six months. But which one was the absolute worst? Take your best guess from the options below. • Embarrassment No. 1: The first time she listened to the Chuck D song “By the Time I Get to Arizona,” which contains the lyric “the governor is a Hitler.” • Embarrassment No. 2: That time she was reminded that, contrary to her public statements about the matter, her father did not die “fighting the Nazi regime in Germany”; rather, he passed away in California in 1955. • Embarrassment No. 3: The televised gubernatorial debate in which Brewer was seemingly unaware that she had to prepare an introductory statement. “I have, uh, done so much, and I … cannot believe that we have changed … uh, everything … since I have become your governor in the last 600 days,” she began. “Other than every single part of it, Jan Brewer's opening statement last night was pretty good,” wrote Saturday Night Live’s Seth Meyers on Twitter. • Embarrassment No. 4: The initial viewing of her own anti–Eric Holder commercial, which features a frog, a song, and some saucy admonishments. • Embarrassment No. 5: That time her state was sued by the federal government. And lost. Answer after the jump!

Video: In Honor of 9/02/10, the Nine Best Beverly Hills, 90210 Cameos
Like the 4/20 and 9/09/09 before it, today?s special occasion has already marked itself on the calendar. Indeed, it is the second of September, 2010, or, 9/02/10. The year 2010 also happens to be the 20th anniversary of the birth of the original 90210, an important achievement in American popular culture. So, to celebrate the century?s only installment of this significant date, we?ve selected the series? nine best cameo appearances.* (*May not appeal to anyone under 30.)

Gayest of the Run: Vote for Your Favorite Corvette
I was on the road recently, working on a consulting project for a major food manufacturer, the goal of which was to help the company enhance the environmental sustainability of their products and packaging. My colleagues and I spent a few days visiting families at their homes in a pair of mountain and midwestern metropolises, asking them to show us the novel ways in which they?ve greened-up their lifestyles. While out west, I hopped in the sporty, cute, and carbon footprint friendly Mazda3 compact. But when I returned to the topographically challenged flatlands of the midwest, I made the wildly inappropriate decision to study the native tree huggers in a Torch Red 2011 Corvette Grand Sport Coupe. Which got me thinking: while I?ve covered America?s supercar a couple times before I?ve never used it as the subject of our vibrant Gayest of the Run feature. So here it is! Scroll through to look at each the six generations (and nearly 60 years!) of ?Vettes and don?t forget to vote for your favorite Corvette after the jump. Generation 1: 1953-1962 ? Motivated by a ?Blue Flame? six cylinder engine ? Featured a solid axle rear suspension, for expert Power Bottom slides and hops ? First 300 cars made were painted ?Polo White?, perfect for proto-Preppy prisses

What Your New Silly Band Says About Your Relationship
Readers of this blog are undoubtedly familiar with Silly Bandz, the ?billion-dollar business? based on the manufacture and sale of colored rubber bands that form shapes other than traditional circles. Their existence comes as a surprise to New York?s population of gentleman callers, who say they have been receiving the Bandz as gifts (clues?) from the ladies they court. ?I went on a date with a girl. She gave me one. Two days later, another girl gave me another Silly Band. I felt important,? one 32-year-old Manhattan bachelor told the New York Daily News. Another thirtysomething suitor recalls receiving a band that read, ?XOXO.? Despite the explicitly passionate content of the message, the bracelet ?didn?t mean anything,? the man realized. It seems, in matters of mixed signals, ?XO? marks the spot. In the interest of avoiding the fate of the aforementioned inamorato, gentlemen should please consult the following guide to Silly Bandz and their respective romantic implications.

Doctors' Advice: Did You Know?
…that people of all skin colors—not just the pale ones—are at risk for skin cancer? It’s often thought that if you don’t burn, then you’re immune, but that’s simply not true. Cumulative ultraviolet radiation is usually the culprit. Consider Bob Marley: He noticed a lesion under his toenail and thought it was a soccer injury, but it turned out to be an aggressive form of melanoma that led to his death at age 36. —Dr. Bradford Katchen … that weight training twice a week maintains bone mass? Studies have shown that routine strength training including weights and plyometric training can maintain bone mass well into life. Keep pumping. —Dr. Jordan Metzl …that herbs and spices have the highest antioxidant content of any foods? Think of antioxidants as 'preventing rust' in the body. A half-teaspoon of cloves has more antioxidants than a half-cup of blueberries! So reach for the spice and herbs to help prevent aging. Here are some other good examples: tumeric in curry, cinnamon, ginger, pepper, oregano, and peppermint. —Dr. Bruce Yaffe … that if you bruise easily, you may be lacking Vitamin C in our diet? Wounds in general heal more quickly under the influence of vitamin C. If you bruise easily, take 500 milligrams of vitamin C three times a day to help build collagen in your skin. (Consult your physician first.) Additionally, vitamin K cream may also be used on bruises. Vitamin K is important for clotting and may be applied directly to the bruises. A third trick is to use arnica, a homeopathic remedy for bruising. Arnica cream, arnica tablets, and vitamin K cream can be found at pharmacies or health food stores. If you take aspirin for your heart or other medication such as blood thinners, anti-inflammatory drugs, antidepressants or asthma medication, you may bruise more easily. Never stop any medications before consulting with your doctor. —Dr. Peter Kopelson …that to ensure a healthy skin renewal regime, exfoliation is key? This will ensure that dead skin is efficiently removed, allowing healthy skin cell turn over. —Dr. Jean-Louis Sebagh

Who is Dr. Peter Kopelson?
Dr. Kopelson. Peter L. Kopelson, M.D. grew up in Beverly Hills, California and attended Beverly Hills High School. He completed his undergraduate training at Columbia University where he majored in philosophy and concentrated on his pre-medical courses. He was accepted into New York University School of Medicine where he obtained his Medical Doctor degree. He remained at N.Y.U School of Medicine for his internship in Internal Medicine, spending much of his time at Bellevue Hospital. He then moved to the west coast to study dermatology and dermatologic surgery. At University of California, Los Angeles School of Medicine, Dr. Kopelson completed his dermatology residency and served as chief dermatology resident.

Exclusive! A Conversation with Hurricane Earl About His Plans for the Future, the Financial Collapse, and Childish Mistakes
The East Coast is bracing itself for the unwelcome arrival of Hurricane Earl, a Category-4 storm that?s been making waves in the Caribbean since earlier this week. Coastal towns from North Carolina to New England are preparing for heavy winds, periods of intense rain, and postponed picnics. ?Today is the day to make sure you have your family disaster plans, that you check your supplies,? Federal Emergency Management Agency chief Craig Fugate said yesterday. Earl?s visit is not expected to include any land areas, but, experts warn, any deviation from his itinerary could result in the evacuation of some seaside residents. ?Everyone is poised and ready to pull the trigger if Earl turns west, but our hope is that this thing goes out to sea and we?re all golfing this weekend,? another FEMA employee said, rather inhospitably. VF Daily spoke with Earl, who assured us that he has no intention of heading west. ?I have a bunch of unpaid parking tickets,? Earl said. ?I couldn?t go back if I wanted to!?