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Will Ferrell?s ?Get Off the Shed!? S.N.L. Sketch Now Inspiring America?s Political Campaigns (Internet, Meet Phil Davison!)
Today, the Internet had the esteemed pleasure of meeting Phil Davison, former candidate for Stark County, Ohio, treasurer. Internet, meet Phil Davison. Oh, you know him from somewhere? Yes, of course!

Burn-a-Koran Day: The Lost Aaron Sorkin Script
Photo by Pete Souza.If a Florida pastor has his way, September 11 will earn another dubious distinction: national Burn-a-Koran Day. Terry Jones, an otherwise anonymous pastor at Florida’s Dove World Outreach Center, inserted himself in the center of this week’s news cycle by announcing his plan to organize a mass Koran-burning. Reactions to the plan have been less than enthusiastic: On Monday, Jones was burned in effigy in Kabul, Afghanistan. Negative responses from within the States have also been strong, if not violent. Burn-a-Koran Day “could increase the recruitment of individuals who'd be willing to blow themselves up in American cities, or European cities,” Obama told ABC News. The Associated Press reported that Defense Secretary Robert Gates has been in direct contact with Jones, imploring him to call off the demonstration. “This is a West Wing episode,” wrote Slate’s Dave Weigel on Twitter. He later added that it was “definitely a season 5 West Wing episode.” The mix of First Amendment–related disputes, issues of pan-cultural tolerance, and questionable treatment of race indeed echoes many (many) a West Wing plotline. Throw in an Ivy-educated black president and his team of stern, brilliant, and earnest advisers entangling themselves with a vile Southern zealot and it does seem truly Sorkin-esque. What if Aaron Sorkin scripted the discussion in the White House today? It might look something like the following …

Dear Jurisprudence: Is It Legal for Rodney King to Marry a Juror from His Trial?
Rodney King announced yesterday that he has proposed to his girlfriend, Cynthia Kelley, a juror from his 1993 civil case against the city of Los Angeles. If a plaintiff’s marrying a juror sounds suspect, that’s because it very well could be! According to Cindy Yau, a partner in the Manhattan firm Ahmed & Yau, during the trial, King would not have been permitted to have any out-of-court contact with a member of the jury, and vice versa. If the courtship began before the verdict—$3.8 million from Los Angeles, as it happens—was reached, “it would definitely be a problem,” she says. “If there is a trace showing that the relationship started during the trial, it would be unlawful.” According to Kelley, this was not the case. “Our first date was the next day after the trial when Rodney's lawyer and Rodney met me in a local pizzeria in Newport Beach,” she told Radar Online. (Newport Beach may have been a more romantic location, away from the racial tension that had been escalating in L.A. since King’s beating by four police officers.) Yau says she would advise her own clients to steer clear of jury members for the duration of the trial, “no matter how attracted he or she was” to a juror.

New York Fashion Week with Fashion Designer Chris Benz
Designer Chris Benz is at the forefront of American fashion, and this New York Fashion Week he presents his 12th?and perhaps most important?collection to date. Yours truly visited his airy atelier on West 37th Street, in New York City, and found out, among other things, that this young American design prodigy has clearly mastered the art of ?fashion-speak.? George Wayne: Would you agree that your spring-summer 2011 collection is probably your most pivotal to date? Chris Benz: Yes, this is my 12th collection, and it is a very important one. Talk about the inspiration for spring 2011. I'm calling this my Shelley Duvall/Lauren Hutton collection. It's about that on-the-go girl who has always inspired me. It's all about a girl on a Vespa, in a romper, the hair flying, all of that. It's that 60s Parisian expat kind of chic. There is a definite 60s, early 70s Parisian chic going on. It's like Lucy Ricardo going to Paris and interpreting her version of what Parisian chic was about. So there is an element of humor throughout. A lot of archival florals, a lot of painterly prints inspired by early Pop artists. The things that are important to me about this collection are color, gorgeous fabric, and a bit of American fetishism.

Doctors' Advice: Did You Know . . .
…that eating one to three tablespoons of extra-virgin coconut oil can help you lose abdominal fat and speed up your metabolism? Try it for visible results, and as an added benefit, you will have soft, supple skin and shiny, healthy hair. —Dr. Nicholas Perricone … that long, slow aerobic exercise is not the most effective way to lose fat? You’re much better off doing high-intensity burst training, such as circuit training or intervals. You burn more calories (and more fat!) in less time! —Dr. Jonny Bowden … that the skin on the chest is more prone to sun damage than the rest of the body is? So, in addition to applying sunscreen of at least S.P.F.30 in the summer, wear T-shirts made with sun-protective fabric, specially designed to provide broad-spectrum protection. —Dr. Frederic Brandt … that pomegranates are a wonderful source of antioxidants? The unique combination of elements in pomegranates even increases the protective abilities of sunscreens, which can help prevent sun damage. —Dr. Howard Murad … that if your pores are looking bigger by the month it could be because you're not effectively washing the day away at night? Never sleep with even a trace of makeup on! Cleanse skin thoroughly to get rid of the environmental free radicals that may be sitting on your face, since they damage your skin and break down collagen and elastic tissue. —Dr. Patricia Wexler

Kate Moss Poses for Bryan Ferry Album Cover
Here, exclusively (at least for a couple minutes), is the cover of the forthcoming Bryan Ferry album, Olympia, featuring Kate Moss photographed upside down and between what look like satin sheets. The photographer is Adam Whitehead. The image, according to its accompanying press release, is meant to evoke the trashy, sexy, 70s-glam album covers of Ferry?s old band, Roxy Music. The image, per the album?s title, is also supposed to reference the Manet painting of the same name, but that doesn?t concern us today. What concerns us is, upon reflection, the surprising lack of female skin on classic rock and pop albums?surprising given that (a) female skin is used to sell pretty much everything (just look at most covers of this Web site?s parent magazine) and (b) rock ?n? roll is supposed to be sexy, and rock stars are supposed to get lots of girls, and, so, how come the Beatles or the Rolling Stones never got Twiggy or?duh?Patty Boyd or Anita Pallenberg to pose for one of their covers? After the jump, a brief, guided tour of album-cover cheesecake through the ages.

All Snooki Ever Did Was Love You, New Jersey
Snooki, the Halloween-colored reality star of MTV’s Jersey Shore, has become persona non grata in New Jersey, of all places. Just yesterday, the poufy-haired provocateur tweeted about her unpleasant experiences driving in Newark, which is definitely not the state capital. “Ugh stuck in newark traffic is no fun,” she observed, not un-incisively. The missive attracted the attention of one Cory Booker, Newark mayor, who admonished rather than commiserated. Wrote Booker, “Snooki! I'm the mayor where R U so I can give u a ticket 4 texting & driving we needs revenue!” Actually, should traffic police ticket Snooki, it would not be the first time—nor the first time that day—that Snooki’s misbehavior would become a source of income for the state of New Jersey. Far from Newark, in the Jäger-soaked hamlet of Seaside Heights, a judge fined Snooki $500 (plus $33 in court fees) on charges of “being a public nuisance and annoying others,” according to the Associated Press. Snooki was apologetic, telling the court, “This is not like me. I've never been in this situation before. I’d definitely like to apologize to anybody I hurt.”

What's on Hilary Rhoda's Vanity Table?
Hilary Rhoda.This week, VF.com caught up with "It" girl Hilary Rhoda, whose high cheekbones, big blue eyes, and brown locks have become synonymous with the all-American look. Hence, at the ripe old age of 19, Rhoda was named the face of Estée Lauder, the all-American cosmetics house. Two years ago, Rhoda revealed her love of tennis when she sat front row at the U.S. Open. Once a player herself (on her high-school team), she is the quintessential model for Ralph Lauren's annual U.S. Open collection. Rhoda, who grew up in Chevy Chase, Maryland, has walked the cat walk for Ralph Lauren, Caroline Herrera, Valentino, Yves Saint Laurent, Chanel, Dior, and Lanvin—to name a few. Success on the runway led to an influx of magazine covers and editorials for Rhoda, who has sat for renowned photographers including Bruce Weber, Mario Testino, and Patrick Demarchelier. Herewith, a few of Rhoda's favorite products.

Is I?m Still Here A Hoax? (And 24 Other Urgent Questions)
Joaquin Phoenix has had a strange couple of years—he announced he was retiring from acting, ventured into hip-hop music, and then there’s his unforgettable Letterman appearance. Now, we get to see it all unfold onscreen in the new documentary, I'm Still Here. Is I'm Still Here really the complete breakdown of an Oscar-nominated actor? Is it an elaborate hoax? As a service, we try to answer every question that you could possibly have about I'm Still Here. Q: When and where does I'm Still Here begin? A: It starts on February 12, 1981 in Panama, with old home-video footage of a young Joaquin jumping off of a low cliff into some water.

Is Murdoch Berlusconi? And Is Britain Italy?
The Brits are terribly confused. The scandal that they thought had run out of gas is suddenly, as though by a deus ex machina, back full-steam. And yet it is the same scandal, with relatively few new details, being covered by the same news outlets. Nothing on the face of it has changed. The Media Show on the BBC?s Radio 4?in a discussion of the phone hacking charges and of Rupert Murdoch?s and his company?s involvement in it, and of the New York Times? recent upstart coverage of it?was world-weary in its sophistication. The scandal was still, in Britain, only being covered by the same old Murdoch foes, the Guardian, the Independent, and the BBC itself. Whatever the merits, the country was up against the fact that this was about Murdoch and Murdoch controls most of the media. So get real. Continue Reading at Newser.com »

Tony Blair: Britain?s Sarah Palin?
The aggressive blandness of the title of Tony Blair?s memoir, A Journey, does little to suggest the true nature of the dishy and contentious book, or the controversy surrounding it. Take, for instance, Blair?s book tour, which has been under siege by an army of detractors?many of them anti-war activists?who come to events armed with eggs and small objects to lob at the former prime minister. As you might have guessed, incensed rioting has proven something of a boon to sales: the book sold 92,000 copies in just a few days. (Although, to be fair, these were hardcover editions, and some of them may have been purchased by pugnacious protesters for the purpose of stockpiling items to throw at Blair.) As Blair rounds out his publicity tour with appearances throughout Britain and the United States, sales, The New York Times speculates, are expected to rise still.

Two-Thirds of Americans Oppose Ground Zero Mosque
• Today in secrecy: a federal court has ruled that the C.I.A. may not be sued for any torture it may or may not have committed overseas. National security purposes, you understand. [The New York Times] • Feisal Abdul Rauf, the Imam of the Park51 Center, said on last night’s Larry King Live that should the mosque be moved, America might incite the ire of Muslims who feel “that Islam is under attack.” [CNN] • And while we’re on the subject of the mosque … a new Washington Post–ABC News poll found that two-thirds of those surveyed are against the Park51 Center’s construction. [The Washington Post] • Michael Kinsley, patron saint of online journalism, and Joe Scarborough, a former congressman and MSNBC talking head, will begin writing opinion columns at Politico. [Politico] • Ron Howard will direct an epic three-part film adaptation of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower. Brian Grazer, naturally, will produce. [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

Rhetorical-Advice Column: If I Don?t Like Google Scribe, Can?t I Just Not Use It?
Dear VF Daily, Boy, do I hate the new Google thing, Scribe! What even is it? Google already auto-completes searches, which is sometimes funny, and is certainly in line with its actual function. But now it wants me to install a thing that completes my sentences? What about the thoughts I think about my own thoughts? How dare it suggest what I should say before I even think of it? I don?t need or want Google Scribe. I see myself as having two options: one, I complain about how much I dislike the new function on my blog, on my Twitter, in comments on my friends? blogs, and maybe even in actual conversations with human beings, if an appropriate opportunity presents itself; or two, if I hate the new Google thing, can?t I just not use it? I?m so confused! Please help. Sincerely, Bewildered by Google Portland, Oregon

Why the Academy Needs to Give Jean-Luc Godard a Montage at the Oscars
The Nouvelle-vague mystery of ?Where In the World is Jean-Luc Godard? ? took a couple of provocative turns yesterday, finishing with an appropriately inconclusive arthouse ending. L?affaire Godard first began when the Academy couldn?t reach the Grand Master of the French New Wave to tell him he was being lauded with an honorary Oscar at the Governor?s Awards this November. Yesterday, the Australian press tracked down the reclusive J.L.G. in the small Swiss village where he lives, only to be told by his partner ?in life and in work,? Anne-Marie Mieville, that the original enfant terrible of world cinema would not come to the Governor?s awards because ?it?s not the Oscars.? (That is, his Oscar would not be presented at the actual ceremony.) Mieville went on to say that Godard likely wouldn?t have flown to L.A. in any case just to receive a ?bit of metal.? (He did, after all, skip Cannes.) Then, yesterday afternoon, Deadline posted a face-saving email from the Academy claiming that Godard had finally responded to their Oscar Evite with a resounding ?Maybe.? While film scholars are more likely to find a hidden ?happy ending? cut of Breatheless than we are to get a tidy resolution, we can?t help but send separate messages to the Academy and the rascally Jean-Luc: Academy, please give Godard a few minutes of airtime at the big show, and J.L.G., accept, s?il vous plais.

Which Princess Got Cheeky While on Vacation in Spain?
Animal-welfare groups are up in arms over photographs showing Prince Harry playing polo astride a bleeding pony. Concerns were raised that the Prince used his spurs excessively and drew blood, an offense punishable by anything from a warning to a fine of more than $75,000. However, it has now been pointed out that the pony in question was bleeding only on one side, meaning the injury was mostly likely the result of a collision with another horse. Furthermore, the royal family has issued a statement saying that the Prince dismounted from the animal as soon as he realized it was wounded. Harry is, after all, very fond of ponies. In May, he was reportedly reduced to tears when, after riding a beloved family pony, Drizzle, during a polo match, the horse died of a heart attack.